There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
