I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
