your parents love me but you hate me
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Randomize
