he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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