It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
