I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
You are the jesus of drinking
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
