i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
