If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
