he shaved USA in his pubs
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Randomize
