She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
