I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
I don't think brook has ever known best
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
