just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
