I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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