Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Randomize
