Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
