She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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