and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Randomize
