Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
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