So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Randomize
