My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
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