if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
