Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
