I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Randomize
