Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
