fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
