dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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