Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
