Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
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