Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Randomize
