OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
