Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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