So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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