pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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