i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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