i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
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