i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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