I think I just saw someone hide a body.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
