I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
