how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
i can't believe i had my finger in that
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
