wakey wakey hands off snakey
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
