I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
we should paint friendship bongs
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
