i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
