wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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