Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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