I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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