I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
