Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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