high people should be assigned attendants
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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