LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
