exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
