dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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